And guessing we'll be even more hated this year. We will not be dressing up in costume. Or handing out candy. Our light will not be on, inviting young children whose parents spent some of the $300,000 cost of raising their child on this special costume to ring our doorbell, harass our dogs, and say "trick-or-treat" even though they don't really want a "trick".
I am sorry that I will not be adding to the nearly 7,000 empty calories your child will collect tonight. I have something more important to do.
We will not be spending the average Halloween at home because we will be visiting my dad at the hospital. But we will not escape the single, childless, grumpy couple stereotype of which the people of our neighborhood has tagged us after a few "don't build snow forts in my yard" and "don't scream at my dog" incidents. I do not care. Halloween will go on even if we don't participate. I can feel the glares of the neighbors as I type...
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